Born a Crime by Trevor Noah (Summary)

Summary:
His mom was a devout Christian and used to go at length to go to 3 different types of churches. The black one, the white one and the other one. She was so strict that they were not allowed to listen to Boyz II Men or watch movies.

He was a champion of his sports day in running as he had practice from running away from mom while mom was a winner of parent prise because she had practice chasing him.

Sun’qhela is a phrase with many shades of meaning. It says “don’t undermine me,” “don’t underestimate me,” and “just try me.” It’s a command and a threat, all at once.

Apartheid had a lot of black blood shed and wars between Zulu vs Xhosa didn’t help.

There were no real buses for blacks so they had their own routes and modes which were owned by specific people so someone could not just come and take over another’s turf.

Dutch Afrikaaners needed disposable people to get the gold and black people were perfect. They sent their own white people around the world to learn about slavery.

Police would go around peeping inside windows to catch whites and blacks having sex and then the black person will be beaten while the white person will be let go of under the excuse that they were drunk.

Blacks needed ID and needed to be back home after hours but Trevor’s mum found her way through the city befriending prostitutes who knew the roads. Lots of white travellers didn’t mind housing the prostitutes for a regular favour.

Momma forced her Swiss man to give her a baby and told him he can be part of his life if wanted She just wanted the baby.

He definitely could not walk with his father but he couldn’t walk with his mother either because he was too light-skinned

He had the same issue with pooing in the outhouse as I did! It resulted in a funny incident where he basically silently pooed on newspaper in the house. The granny and mom find it in the bin and they think it’s witchcraft so it needs to be burnt while Trevor prays for the devil who did this to get justice.

Granny did not beat him because she didn’t know how to beat a white person.

Having a grasp of so many languages he could choose which team he wanted to be in, white or black and he chose black because they welcomed and embraced him more.

The mother decided that she would rather live in toilets and roam around with prostitutes than to do what most of the blacks did, which was trying to get their people back to 0 from negative.

They did not leave the chicken bones and broke them to get the marrow too and Trevor was the dustbin of the family

He was very hyperactive and mischievous from burning houses down to taking the projectors magnifying glasses and all sorts.

He used to exchange corporate style letters with his mom to prove his case or agree with mom.

The people in catholic school would constantly evaluate him mentally because of his behaviour and also because once he ate all of Jesus body and blood which was a grape juice. Until he got expelled.

His love for burning things. Another commonality.

Cats are witches to blacks there.

The case of a dog who belonged to 2 houses without either knowing. Trevor and mom produced vaccination documentation and still had to pay the other family off.

His real father opened a very successful restaurant which catered to all races until the government forced him to build toilets for blacks, for whites, for Indians and for others and then he was like ‘but it’ll just be toilets’.

Trevor never gave up on finding his dad again and after convincing the Swiss embassy they said they might help him. His dad was collecting all Trevor’s successes in a scrapbook so shared that but otherwise was very private and quiet about his own life.

Over generations a black person can be considered white if their hair is straight enough, if their parents didn’t have ‘chocolate’ for a few generations, if cheekbones were a certain way, if one renounces their blackness, etc. Then apartheid got worse and whites were at risk of being classified black if they misbehave. It was very tricky for coloured / mixed people. You could be a ‘bushman’.

Experiences of watching a boy getting beaten up by his step-father Abel after getting a racist experience.

Experiences of valentines, love and heartbreaks.

He fit in and never fit in anywhere and everywhere at the same time. Another commonality.

Him and his bestie Teddy were stealing alcohol chocolates and the CCTV caught them but because of the black and white, it turned Trevor into a white person so he got away and his friend didn’t snitch on him.

11 languages made official in the country.

His wheeler dealer friend getting him the most beautiful girl as a prom date and then convincing Abel to give him the BMW if she is they most beautiful girl. He didn’t get the car, got lost for the prom and found out that the girl didn’t speak English. She refused to come out of the car so all his friends crowded the car to see the beauty.

Getting CD writer from his pirating friend, then copying albums, then creating mix CDs, hen fading the songs. He kept evolving until he did street parties.

“People love to say, “Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll eat for a lifetime.” What they don’t say is, “And it would be nice if you gave him a fishing rod.” That’s the part of the analogy that’s missing. Working with Andrew was the first time in my life I realized you need someone from the privileged world to come to you and say, “Okay, here’s what you need, and here’s how it works.” Talent alone would have gotten me nowhere without Andrew giving me the CD writer. People say, “Oh, that’s a handout.” No. I still have to work to profit by it.”

Street parties can pop up in front of anyone’s house and people just drive around. If your house is blocked you get a share of the booze.

At some point Trevor started DJing and threw the biggest parties. New music was hard to play without people knowing the dance so Hitler was their main dancer. Black people named their kids Hitler because they heard of what a victorious person he was. They didn’t know he was the bad guy. Until they had a performance at a Jewish school and Trevor hyping ‘Go Hitler, Go Hitler’.

His intro to the hood and the word cheese meaning money and riches because you can afford to have a burger or something with cheese which is better than just a burger.

All gangsters and dealers drove the same cars and dated the same aged girls etc.

Stories of getting caught with a gun, accusations of stealing the BMW, getting locked up.

He loves custard and jelly too!

Abel, the second person in his mom’s life was very giving and nice but a drunk with a temper so there was domestic violence and the police didn’t do anything about it. Abel worked on cars and at some point they bought the garage he worked. Later they realised they inherited more debt and they were feeding off the cheapest food which was caterpillars.

Abel shooting Trevor’s mom and how it was a miracle that 4 bullets didn’t fire and she recovered.

Personal thoughts: I did not think I’d like it as much as I did and was please to find out how much I have in common with Trevor. Also the book doesn’t get into how he transitioned from South Africa to replacing Jon Stewart on The Daily Show.

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Table of Contents:
– Part 1
Run
Born a Crime
Trevor, Pray
Chameleon
The Second Girl
Loopholes
Fufi
Robert

– Part 2
The Mulberry Tree
A Young Man’s Long, Awkward, Occasionally Tragic, and Frequently Humiliating Education in Affairs of the Heart, Part I: Valentine’s Day
Outsider
A Young Man’s Long, Awkward, Occasionally Tragic, and Frequently Humiliating Education in Affairs of the Heart, Part II: The Crush
Colorblind
A Young Man’s Long, Awkward, Occasionally Tragic, and Frequently Humiliating Education in Affairs of the Heart, Part III: The Dance

– Part 3
Go Hitler!
The Cheese Boys
The World Doesn’t Love You
My Mother’s List.

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