Dr. John Demartini – The Art of Communication, Balance to Life and Purpose to Work Notes

These are just some notes for my reference. There was a lot more of such quality content.

The Art of Communication
– What does your personal conversation end up to? Example of how one person kept going to surfing while another talked about money or business.

– When talking you’ll see people reacting with smiles and frowns. Those are their values.

– Anything that agrees with these values they call good and anything that challenges or goes against the values are bad. Example of family going shopping. Kids values would be toys, Moms values would be something else, Dads something else. CHAOS!

– When your internal words and your actions or external words and actions contradict each other they create conflict. And they think others need fixing.

– If you don’t know your values you’ll add the values of people you look up to. Then you start the ought to, should-ing and etc. Internal conflict starts.

– On the flip side you will push your values onto other people and create and external conflict of they ought to, should-ing and etc.

– Either one of the two above is where you feel there is something wrong with you. The higher you go up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs the more order you have in your life while the lower you go the more chaos.

– There is no such thing as a lazy person. It’s just different peoples values. IMPORTANT ESPECIALLY FOR TEACHERS/LEADERS – Everyone wants to learn if you communicate with their values in mind. Every relationship will be receptive if you learn this. When you don’t know how to communicate you will label people. All you do is this, always forget, etc. Communicate what is true for you in terms of what is true for others.

– What is lower on your value list is called disowned parts. And you attract lovers, family, customers, workmates with those disowned parts. (Article about illusion of happiness in a relationship).

– Talks about how in the relationship it goes. Don’t leave me, leave me alone. Push away, get close. Just like lovemaking ;o) Sex drive goes up with somebody supports their value system.

– When someone goes against your values you keep it as baggage and you carry it and project it on to next relationships.

– The voids in your life determine your values. What is missing is what goes up. If you think you don’t have money you seek it (even when you have more than enough). Funny thing is the bank will ask you if you have money to give you money. When you realise that you have what you are looking for the Universe provides it. (Paras note: I’m sure the Bible has this) You’ll be searching for all this until you find it in yourself.

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Balance to Life and Purpose to Work
– Make a list of everything you do and put a star next to the ones you love to do. Try to delegate the others. That way you do less out of desperation and do more of inspiration.

5 columns.
1 – Job description and everything you do.
2 – Dreams, inspirations, bucket list.
3 – Corporate strategies of the company and write 20 ways you’ll get fulfilment out of it.

– Connect the things you’re not inspired by with things you’re inspired with. E.g. – Taking trash out is not inspiring but inspired by Tai Chi. So mixing Tai Chi movements with taking trash, make it Zen. See how the things you think are mundane would help you in your dreams. Everything you’re looking for is surrounding you, it just may not be in the form you are looking for. So if you can’t delegate it find meaning in it or connect it with inspiring values.

– People leave their jobs because they don’t get their values met. Fire them up don’t fire them.

– Jokes about how relationships go from puppy love to doggy (style) stage lol. And then Old Yeller.

– Take each others values and question how is you fulfilling the top values help you get your values.

Life’s Driving Force – Dr. John Demartini (Summary)
– Everyone has a hierarchy of values. The highest gets the most attention and energy.

– Every child labelled attention-deficit will have an equally opposite balance of attention surplus. The teacher has not learned how to communicate in alignment with their values.

– We usually find partners that balance those values. So your partner makes you whole.

– You can tell how you fill your space, spend your time, spend your money, what you talk about, what you react to, etc. All these will tell about your values.

– We start on what we know and the more we know the less we don’t know.

If you don’t plant flowers you are forever going to pull weeds.

– There is a common element in your careers. Make a list of all your heroes and you’ll see the common threads there too.

– There is a part of us that yearns for immortal expression so clarify that vision or what expression you want to leave. Be realistic because that think you’d love to do that you haven’t done is not something you’d really love to do otherwise you would have done it.

– When the why is big enough the hows take care of themselves. Your vision must be bigger than your cause e.g. if you want to take care of your city your vision must be for a better country.

– Now know your love list and keep refining it. Your dreams should get bigger, more focused. Read this mission every day and refine it. Every detail you leave out will become a challenge.

– The quality of your life = the quality of your questions. You inject others values when you like them or give them more authority. You’ll say things like ‘I should do that more often’. Envi is ignorance and imitation is suicide – Emmerson. So don’t put people on pedestals but this doens’t meant you need to put them down. Put them in your heart.

– In your life you have things that nobody has to motivate you to do. So you are always successful at something. But we tend to compare our lives to others and hence feel unsuccessful. Love what you got and you’ll get more.

– Your pleasure and pain will balance. True love will be when you come back from a bad day and your love lifts you up. If you get ahead of yourself, your love will bring you back down to earth. So when someone is putting you down, there is someone else lifting you up. Everyone is playing a balancing game in life.

– Write the things you don’t like and ask how is doing this thing going to fulfill your mission on this planet? Don’t stop until you have valid answers. If they don’t help your values they become friction to your life. Also write everything that is on your mind, EVERYTHING. Then ask if there is something you can do about each one and write who you will delegate it to or a date when you will do it. So do them, delegate them, dump them or date them to be done.

– The wealthy pay themselves first, your first bit of money should go into your savings account. If your money is working for you, it is your slave and vice versa. After saving, then you invest, then you speculate. Save so much that the compound interest earns more than what you are earning. Read the riches peoples autobiographies, try get in contact with them, create you vision board of all that you want.

See mo

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