Ok so this video is dedicated to my wife since she likes dedicating so many posts about me not listening (and to all couples where one partner complains about the same thing).
First things first – if you feel you need to repeat yourself a lot and it’s an on-going issue guess what? You may need to take responsibility for it. Now I know weaker people would not take ownership to work on themselves and hide behind things like ‘I’m always right or I’m never wrong’ but you’re not like that are you?!
These are the specific steps I took when I started working in retail and realised I was repeating myself a lot.
1 – Make sure the person you are talking to is in a space of listening. I usually say the persons name before I say anything and wait for them to give me a reply with even just a hmmm.
2 – Kind of obvious but speak louder. Actors, toast masters, people in the speaking profession will tell you to speak much louder and they’ll emphasise on the much bit because what you hear in your head is not what the other person is hearing.
3 – Make sure you’re in the same room. Lots of partners comments online are how they don’t hear things because they’re being spoken to from another room.
4 – Make sure other noises are not in the way. Is a baby screaming in the background, is the person wearing headphones and so not in a listening space?
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5 – Practice vocal sounds and get feed back. Do your do re mi fas and get feedback on which one sounds lower because some scales may be lower than others.
6 – Remember if you don’t work on this, it’s a struggle you’re going to face with for the rest of your life. In my personal experience if my love has something important to share with me for some magical reason I will hear it loud and clear multiple times e.g. I’m definitely not missing any communication when more money is needed. So use the same effort in all communication.
Related Links:
– 3 Book Summaries on How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes, Larry King and Toastmasters
– How to Talk to Men and Women
– How to Talk to Anyone (Audiobook) by Leil Lowndes
– The Speaker Listener Technique to Talk Without Fighting
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