How to Handle Rude Disrespectful People

Brainy dose
Choose the right approach.
Eye contact, hold gaze.
Smile.
Keep your temper.
Don’t react, respond.
Consider their point of view.
Approach the problem head-on.
Be objective.
Try to find common ground. (See Negotiation and Conflict Resolution by Open2Study)
Be mature – kill with kindness.
Be witty and use humour.
Simply say ‘you’re right’.
Don’t try force change.
Finish convo.
Walk away.

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Quotes
I do not allow people to talk to me like that.
You should come back when you’re in a better mood.
You should think about what you just said.
I’ll let what you said slide this time.
Lets start this conversation over.
I think it’s best to end this now before it gets worse.
You need to re-evaluate the way you speak to people.
Sounds like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Charisma on Command
Finish your sentences even though you don’t raise your voice.
Stare with a neutral face.
Ignore the person saying negative things and pay attention to the positive people.
Criticise or give feedback on the behaviour and not the person.
Detach ego and work on personal self-acceptance. (See Self Esteem)

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Jay Johnson TED
Remember all these stress is hurting your own health.
It’s my heart attack. We mislabel them calling one person aggressive while a friend doing the same is dedicated.
Asking questions is best way to learn the why the behaviour.
Use inclusive language. I notice ‘we’re’ having some communication issues.
Take a deep breath and count to 10 or take a break.
Separate the person from the behaviour.
Remember someone else’s behaviour should not be your heart attack.

Skillopedia
Some reasons:
They’re insecure or don’t feel good about themselves.
Jealousy.
Lack of understanding.
They like you and they’re teasing.
Don’t lose control and don’t let them see you lose control.
Document and affirm your awesomeness.

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Success Secrets TV
Calm your nerves.
Use humour to diffuse disrespect.
Return disrespect with kindness.
Call them out on their behaviour.
Avoid them or set boundaries and ignore them. (Boundaries is a big one, more info here)

The Charisma Matrix
Diffuse the situation and go a little higher on tone and address the behaviour in front of others so the eyes are on them when they try to put the eyes on you.

Alexa Fischer
Pause – for the cause.
Pretend – oh you must not have realised the line started behind me.
Perceive – change the way you look at it and give them the benefit of the doubt.

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Online communication skills training courses
1 – It’s about you and how you respond. Don’t act on their behavior. My words and actions are a testament about me. Remind yourself – It’s all about me.
2 a. – Who are you? Hurt people hurt people. Someone trying to shame you feels shame. Before opening your mouth, reflect on who you are. I am a strong father and husband, I am kind and understanding, I am patient and merciful. I choose to take the higher ground not the psychopath.
2 b. – I’m here to what? You are here for something bigger than your job. I’m here to love the things that are not loved, to fill the gaps nobody wants to fill.
2 c. – What do you want? You want peace, financial independence, life of jokes. These 3 are your personal compass.
3 – Some can call you something but your personal compass reminds you that their words don’t make you that. Don’t let facts get in the way of truth. Speak it, hear it, read it, write it (your personal compass).
4 – If someone triggers you, don’t affirm positive things. Have crucial phrases prepared in advance. Write in the correct affirmation ‘code’ to execute the code. They’re positively phrased and in the present. Have strategies prepared so you can cope. I am going to be strong instead of I’m not going to cry.
5 – Keep your chin up. Cops give you water so your chin stays up and that helps state of mind.

Recommended:
– Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People by Renee Evenson (Summary)
– Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen of the Harvard Negotiation Project
– The Speaker Listener Technique to Talk Without Fighting

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