3 Book Summaries on How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes, Larry King and Toastmasters

Paras note: So I found an old email draft from way way back… like 2007-9 when I really got into self improvement. This is an unedited summary from 3 audiobooks. Enjoy.

How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Leil Lowndes (Click to read the 62 Tricks)
– Smile slower… start with a little grin and then bigger… big warm slower smile looks less fake and shows you’re warming up.

– Use sticky eyes. Less on men, more on women. Even when looking away do it slowly like it’s hard to pull them off the person.

– Use epoxy eyes. Take usually 3 people to pull it off. While talking to someone look at the target. Also wait for the person you’re talking to, to finish their sentence so both target and conversation person both get your attention. Used by lovers, cops, managers, etc.

– Hang by your teeth. More like pretending you’re swinging in the room with you biting a rope and the posture, etc makes you look like a winner.

– Welcome and greet people like a big baby. Like getting in touch with their inner infant.

– When meeting someone treat them like a long lost dear old friend… it starts a chain reaction in your body.

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– Visualize you’re in peak form and going to wow everyone.

– When making small talk, match the moods. Tune in their mood and match the pace.

– Talk prosaic with passion. It’s not what you say it, it’s how you say it.

– Always wear a wotsit. Anything that starts of conversation like “what is that?”. Simple visual prop that is unusual, which matches your personality and occasion.

– Whos it?! Ask your friend to make an intro or little info about the person. Eg: Hey you’re James right, Josie just told me you’re into such and such.

– Eavesdrop and wait for any excuse to ‘excuse me, I couldn’t help but overhearing…’.

– Where are you from? Should be answered with something interesting, never a one word answer. Extra info could even match the persons identity or interest.

– Don’t just say your title. Throw out some interesting facts for them to munch on.

– Introduce people with more than name. Describe their interest or interesting story about them so they have something to start with.

– Be a word detective. Listen to their words to pick up something that they’d be into and take it from there.

– Truly confident people know how to turn the spotlight from them onto someone else. The more you do it, the more interesting they find you.

– Repeat other peoples words. Parrot the last few words they say and they’ll love it.

– Encore! Good for slipping away from convos if you want. Just make one of the people repeat a great story about themselves.

– When first meeting someone stick to the positive. Keep the skeletons for later.

– Keep up to date with the news so you have something interesting to say.

– Thesaurus your vocab. Replace boring words.

– Visual phrases and related similes.

– Always say unique thank yous. Never thank you alone.

– Gobledigoop – learn their jobs lingo.

– Mirror their movements. Echo their words.

– Create shared experiences, private joke.

– Compliment someone through a friend. Compliment someone indirectly (e.g. you’re probably too young to remember). Compliment them on time. Return their compliment (e.g. I’m so glad you told me). Save only one killer compliment per blue moon.

– Sounds more exciting on the phone, make them hear your emotions. Shower them with their name even more on the phone. Answer unemotionally, then throw in the excitement after you know who it is. ALWAYS ask about your timing for your call (is this a good time for you to talk?) Pay attention to their background noises and acknowledge it (e.g. I hear your other line, do you need to get it).

– Rescue someones story (e.g. after interruption… so what happened after you bla bla bla).

– Divulge the WIIFM (what’s in it for me) for them and for you.

– Parties are for fun. Leave tough talk for tougher settings.

– Chance encounters are for chit chat, keep it sweet and light.

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How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere: The Secrets of Good Communication by Larry King, Bill Gilbert
– Everyone is an expert in their own interests so listen to their speciality.

– Escape conversations by excusing yourself for the wash room or intro them to a friend with ‘I’m sure you have a lot to talk about’. But don’t use second one too much.

– Bring up a topic of your interest and see if there’s a good follow up to gauge where its going.

– When using technical terms make sure the people you talk to know what you’re saying if not use laymens terms

– For sales, after closing a sale don’t sell any more!

– Sell your advantages and when discussing stuff try not to use negative words or meanings, find a different way to say it so it sounds more appealing.

– Speak clearly, look at everyone, make short notes to stay on track so you’re not just reading. Look at audience in different places each time. Know when to leave! Don’t use lewd language. K.I.S.S. Keep it simple stupid!

– Don’t be afraid to say you don’t remember. Find ways to avoid questions you don’t like. “No comment” does not work anymore, it implies guilt!

Toastmasters Secret: A Practical Guide to Become a Competent Communicator in Public Speaking by Ramakrishna Reddy
– Determine audience wants, needs & expectations.

– Audience want you to succeed.

– Make it a conversation.

– Know your objective (fit objective on a business card).

– Keep it short, write it and count the words. Practice and timing.

– Make a point, tell a story. We all share happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, disgust & fear. Use these in your story accordingly.

– Use presentation slides as summaries and don’t turn your back on audience.

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