Handling relationship problems By Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

What really disturbs interpersonal relationships? The relationship gets disturbed when disagreement begins.

Just look at yourself. Have you always agreed with yourself? You had some idea yesterday; today you may have a different idea. Five years back you had other ideas that do not necessarily agree with the ideas that you have today. So, when you have disagreements with yourself, why should it not happen with someone else?

The “someoneyou have a disagreement with is just a photocopy of your old or new self. So you need to take a look at your own thought and emotional patterns. There is a rhythm in them. And there is a rhythm in consciousness. We need to find a harmony between all these rhythms within us. That’s what is called spirituality.

Spirituality is not just fantasizing; it’s observing your own existence. Have we thoroughly known our body? You can know someone else’s body but have you experienced your own body? Experiencing your own body, your breath, your mind, your emotions, and the source of your life is meditation. Meditation is experiencing the life force and being conscious of it. And it is done effortlessly.

For maintaining interpersonal relationships, you have to first have a relationship with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is called integrity. If you have no relationship with yourself, that’s called lack of integrity. Being informal keeps your interpersonal relationships strong, for it give space for mistakes to happen. You cannot expect perfection in any relationship or situation.

Life is very complex. There is no set formula. When you think that you are very honest, that your are righteous, you become a little stiff inside without even knowing it. You point your finger toward others and become intolerant. When you recognize that there are flaws in you, you are then able to accommodate the flaws in other persons.

Meditation is the only way you can transcend the negative thoughts, and then positive thoughts will come on their own. Stress and tension cause negativity. Suppose you don’t sleep for two days, then small things can start to irritate you. But if you have rested well, the situation will be different.

Some people always blame themselves for something that goes wrong in a close acquaintance. Leave this “alwaysñ “I always want to be happy.Take life as it comes. Sometimes you are upset or angry; it is OK to be upset or angry. Life does not stop for anything; it moves. Just move with the flow.

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